Vivien in Conversation with Rob Thomas – How to Deepen Intimacy Without Saying a Word

What if the very words you’re using to fix your relationship are the problem? Backed by science and tested with couples across the country, Rob’s “wordless” approach isn’t about romance clichés or sexual intimacy—it’s about creating alignment, vulnerability, and lasting connection.

Hello and welcome to The Schapera Show, where Viv and Neil explore this big adventure called life.

Our guest today is rather interesting. Firstly, because the book we are discussing is entitled “Wordless Connection.”

And secondly, wait for it, this book is written by a man.

Let’s welcome Rob Thomas, the author.

Hi, Rob. Thank you for coming on the show.

Hey, Vivian, thank you. And I love the fact I get the shout out for a lot of things. But being a man is certainly not one of them, so I’ll take it. I’ll take it. Thank you.

So Rob, I found your book and your background extremely interesting. And I really, I really mean extremely interesting.

And I would like you to begin with your background because that’s the way we can find out more about you and we can get a little context for your body of work.

So can you tell us more about you?

Sure. I have spent my career working with organizations who are going through change.

And I’ve worked with generally large organizations and whether they’re going through a merger or they’re, most of them are adopting new software across the whole organization. And this is generally not just one country but multiple countries. And I’m helping the employees manage the change.

And part of this is with a communication plan and then identifying what their current job is and in the new situation what their job will be and then helping them make that transition.

So I’ve kind of done that with a lot of organizations and bring in a team and kind of work through that. And I’ve done that in a lot of different industries, a lot of different organizations, a lot of different focuses.

And so it’s been a big adventure. And I think that that’s part of what’s really attracted me.

I like adventure. I like to solve puzzles.

And so I kind of parachute in and have an opportunity to meet people and people are a lot of fun wherever I go.

And that’s kind of the kind of work I’ve done.

It’s very interesting because it sounds a little bit like systems theory, a little bit of working with the system and a lot of communication, needing a lot of communication capacity and helping people with their communication and understanding.

And that’s of my particular interest, both those pieces.

That’s really good.

Now, let’s talk about your book now.

I really was super impressed.

I don’t want to go on a ridiculous amount about how impressed I am with your book, but in my line of work I fall into the personal growth field and I find that generally 90 percent of the participants in personal growth are female and 10 percent are male. I think that might even be a generous percentage that I’m saying here.

And then to be honest, those 10 percent of males who do participate more, they’ve got a very different profile from you, not to say the better or worse or anything, but just different kind of profile.

And so that was another reason that I found your book that interesting and that fascinating.

And then the next reason why I found your book so impressive was because the other relationship book that has impressed me was by Harville Hendricks called “Getting the Love You Want.”

And I found that book more depressing when I first read it. It actually upset me and I put it aside and then about eight, nine months later I thought, “No, I know that book had some truth in it, in fact a lot of truth, and I want to get the benefit of it.”

But it was challenging.

Then I pick up your book and I look at your book and it is uplifting right from the beginning.

It’s empowering right from the beginning.

And then it’s got this amazing message in it that’s very, very relevant.

And so I do want to sing the praises and I do want to acknowledge all of that.

But I’d like you to tell everybody else what’s in your book, Rob? What is your book about?

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Vivien in Conversation with Candee Lawson – Listening to the Body

When I received my very first massage I just felt like oh my God, there’s something so sacred about touch you know , was next to godliness.

The transcription below is created on computer, and is almost, but not completely accurate.

Hello and welcome to the Schapera show, where Vivien and Neil explores this big adventure called life. Our guest today is a long time associate and colleague of mine, because as soon as I got to Cincinnati back in nineteen ninety one, I sought her out. Why? Because she is a practitioner of the Ilana Rubenfeld synergy technique and I very much wanted to experience it. Let’s welcome Candy Lawson, Rubenfeld Synergy Practitioner. Hello Candy, welcome to the show.

Well hi there. Thank you for having me on. I’m so excited to be here. I’m so excited to. Oh no, we go back a long way, don’t we? All the way to

a bit about your background. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?

Alrighty. A little bit about my background. Whoo – where to begin. Um well I can say that I became curious about the mind-body connection very early on. I think I was uh I was only about fifteen years old um and I know that because that’s when I received my very first massage and I received my massage I just felt like oh my God there’s those there’s something so sacred about touch you, know it, was it was next to godliness.

Um also I can say about that time when I was around fifteen sixteen years old um I had a job working at the mall and when I would take my break um I loved people watch uh I was just curious about people and I loved to watch their body and how people carry them. So and I think it was um about that time that I don’t know, I just start uh having my own imagination imagination just around um how people blend their bodies around their life experiences.

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Spirit Report: Part One Taken to Meet Spirits of the Sea

The purpose of this journey is to travel to the Lower World and ask to be taken to see and explore spirits of the sea.

So, I go into my hollowed-out tree trunk with the portal in the floor. There’s like an energetic activation, with light and movement, and I slip through and find myself, as I usually do, way up in the darkness of space.

I’m going to be descending slowly and slowly to the Lower World. In this way of descending, the Lower World often looks like another green area below.

I keep putting up my request that the purpose of this journey is to travel to the Lower World and request the spirits to take me to see and meet, if possible, spirits of the sea.

Usually, as I go over the Lower World area, I’m seeing the green of the land and the features of the land. There’s the hippo lake, which I often go to, and I immediately get told that the hippo—or a hippo—will take me to the sea.

So, I go down to the lake, and I’ve got a very strong feeling of good connection with Hippo after all these journeys.

I’m on the island which is in the hippo lake, and quite an enthusiastic hippo says, “Let’s go.”

I climb on its back, and I understand that there’s some way of going from this lake out to the ocean. I’ve always thought of this as a—

We’ve gone over some beaches and mangroves, and now we’re actually on a very nice beach. Beautiful beach colors—archetypally beautiful blues and whites.

The hippo says to me, “This is where it begins.”

I had an expectation that I would be on the hippo’s back and go into this sea, this ocean, but it seems no. The hippo says the sea is not its primary place. It’s not where it really belongs. It belongs in the lakes and other freshwater places.

So, I’m going to stay here and see what happens.

Hmm.

I’m a little bit apprehensive about the ocean—the unknowns of the ocean.

Hmm.

Very strangely, a canoe shows itself—a long canoe, as one would think indigenous people who were at the ocean used. There are two people in front and two people in the back. They say I must sit in the middle of this long canoe, and they’re going to take me out into the ocean.

This is like an introduction that is gentle. They understand I’m apprehensive about the ocean. I like to feel safe on the ocean.

They remind me. They say, “Neil, you’re perfectly safe. Remember, this is the Lower World, and we are spirit helpers.”

I say, “Yes, I needed that reminder.”

They’re pointing out the birdlife, and I’m seeing turtles.

They’re saying to me, “Remember when you went to the Galápagos, how abundant in life that was? The spirit-world version of the ocean is very abundant.”

They know that I feel safer if I’m on something of substance, so I’m on the canoe, which feels safe and substantial.

Then a very large whale shows itself nearby. These—I’ll call them indigenous, for want of a better word—these islanders, if that’s correct, are very respectful of this whale. They gently bow their heads.

They say that a vague analogy is how, in ordinary reality, you have the elephant—especially the matriarch, but also the bulls—who are so powerful and have such a presence. In the ocean, in the spirit ocean, a whale is similar.

The whale explains that I have to be willing to go under with the whale. Although I’ve had similar experiences previously, there’s always a little bit—as I said—of apprehension, and of course wondering, “How am I going to breathe?”

The whale says, “Let’s make it easy. I’ll be like a submarine.”

This is very interesting. What the whale does is, I go into its mouth, and it starts pushing out a bubble of air which doesn’t completely go out of the mouth, but is forming like this large, rounded window which I can look out of.

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Amazonite – Synchronize the Physical Body and the Energy Body

The physical body and the energy body may not have the same vibration, and that makes them split a little bit from each other, and that also has to be synchronized.

Hello and welcome to the Schapera Show where Viv and Neil explore this big adventure called Life.

This is the part of the show where I, Vivien, speak to and about crystals.

Our crystal guest today is Amazonite.

And Amazonite is something of a VIP. 

Why?

Because although my first crystal encounter was with rose quartz, my first crystal acquisition was Amazonite.

That was when I was 10.

We were in the museum in Vento, Colombia, and a piece of Amazonite was for sale, displayed and presented in a bubble pack.

I couldn’t touch it or hold it, but I could look at its amazing color.

Two significant curiosities.

Amazonite is named after the Amazon River, but apparently there is no Amazonite found in the Amazon River, and the name derives from a mistake.

Additionally, although many blue stones owe their color to copper, that is not true of Amazonite.

And we will get back to these curiosities in the course of what I have to say here.

So obviously being my first crystal, I have a soft spot for Amazonite.

I also appreciate it because I can use it to help muscles relax.

This is surprisingly easy to accomplish.

All you need is a smooth piece that can be tumbled or shaped into a lingam or sphere.

Then you apply it to your body and do what is called a first layer infusion, which simply means rubbing your physical body with the piece of Amazonite.

So you know the bottoms of your feet, your legs, your abdomen, your chest, your arms, whatever you can reach, you can rub your body with the Amazonite.

And it doesn’t only help the muscles to relax, but you will also find that it’s invigorating.

This is one of the ways we use Amazonite in crystal surgery, and we can combine it with another stone, golden quartz, also known as golden azeztulite.

Now, talking about crystal surgery, I am glad to report that I have discovered empirically in my sessions and then confirmed that I and my research are well-founded in the physics and chemistry of Amazonite.

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Course 0-1 : Crystal Healing Foundation Course

 

Let’s begin by building a foundation together. This course explains “our version” of the basic terms and concepts that you will need to know in order to learn the first round of 21st Century Crystal Healing Techniques.
Upon successful completion of this course and the quiz, students will receive a certificate.

How to access courses on this website:
Step 1 is to register on the website.

Step 2 is to login to the website using the same email address and password

Step 3 is to register for each of the courses you want access to

Step 4 is to click on the “My Courses” tab

Step 5 is to choose a course you have registered for and want to view

To access the FREE COURSES on the website, you need to be logged in, and then:
1. These course are free, but you do have to register for each course to gain access.
2. You will be charged $0.00.
3. Then, to access the course you need to be logged in, using the same email address and password as you used to register for the course.
4. And, click on the “My Courses” tab to reach the links to the courses you have registered for.

NEW: Previously paid courses that have now been made FREE:

Course 1: Working on Others

https://crystalhealingtechniques.com/course/crystal-healing-techniques-for-working-on-others/

Course 2: Working on Self

https://crystalhealingtechniques.com/course/crystal-healing-techniques-for-working-on-self/

Course 3: Use What You’ve Got

https://crystalhealingtechniques.com/course/use-what-youve-got/

Note: These above course are free, but you do have to register for each course to gain access.

Intro

No matter what discipline you are studying, the wise and experienced teachers always confirm the same principle: To develop a skill, you must first learn the basics. To improve, learn the basics to a higher level. To become a master, return to the basics yet again, and learn the basics at the Master level.

It is highly likely that the subjects and topics in this foundation course are already familiar to you. Yes, this is a review of the traditional methods of crystal healing, the methods that are already “out there.”

21st Century Crystal Healing Techniques builds on traditional methods. If you are a beginner, you still need to know these traditional methods. If you are experienced, whatever style of crystal healing you currently use, please continue. There is nothing “wrong” with “old” techniques that have been around for centuries. In fact, those are the techniques that have stood the test of time!

Like all disciplines, Crystal Healing must continue to evolve, and these new techniques are not instead of the “old” techniques, they are “as well as.”

We need to develop a shared foundation, and we also need to ensure that we are speaking the “same language.” This is so necessary, that we are providing this course for free!

Want to learn more?
Take a look at our Community Membership option!

Shamanism for Energy Healer Certification Program Conversion

 

Energy Healer

Shamanism for Energy Healer Certification Program Conversion

Must obtain Shamanic Journey sound file to put on phone
(or can get the CD)
7) Michael Harner’s Shamanic Journey Multiple Drumming
https://www.shamanism.org/shop-online/shop-online-journeywork/#7
MP3, All Tracks $10.98

CD, All Tracks $15.50

Can listen on YouTube here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K78eKXsYeg

These are the apps for iphone that I recommend:

Apple Apps on https://apps.apple.com/
1.Drum Journey by Mindful Bear Apps ( best) $1.99
2. Shamanic Journey Drumming — by Frauke Rotwein
(Not Shaman World by John Moore)
(Not Shamanic Journeying by Ayodeji Yakubu)
A reliable website with Shamanic resources: https://www.shamanism.org/

Need a phone with your sound file on it, headphones, eye cover, notebook/pen, and ideally separate recorder (use an old phone)
Home work:

Please do at least two Shamanic Journeys before our next Zoom session, discuss with your specified Partner, and email me a brief summary of each, including any questions and comments.

Do two separate Journeys to Lower World
1. You Journey to the Lower World to meet Spirit in Animal Form — a “Spirit Helper”

2. You Journey to the Lower World to meet Spirit in Animal Form — a “Spirit Helper” AND to Explore the LandscapeBest if you narrate your Journey out loud as you are doing it, and record it ( eg on a spare phone)and discuss each Journey in one or two separate discussions with your specified Partner.
If you are able to write a report of your Journeys you can email to your partner as well

Before our next session, please send report detailing your Journey/s and questions and comments,
to Neil at neil.schapera@gmail.com

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Spirit Report: Visit a Galaxy Far Away and Encounter a Life Form

 

Trust begins with trusting this moment. The eternal soul is already taken care of.

Breathe, be still, trust, and inhabit this moment fully.

The purpose of this Shamanic Journey is to travel to the Upper World and ask the beloved compassionate Spirits to take me to a galaxy far, far, far away, and let me see a life form that would be of interest to the listeners

I’m standing on my mountain ledge from which I usually go up.

And the animated totem-like pole has appeared and it’s full of energy and vitality as if it knows that there’s a long long long way that I need to travel for my request of visiting a galaxy very far away and encountering a life form that would be of interest and importance to the listeners of the Schapera show and myself.

And I’m climbing.

As I climb I understand that it’s good for me to put in that effort of climbing.

That’s my role in the shamanic journey to show that I want to go up.

But that the significant journey is not going to be me climbing, but this animated pole, itself going up, and taking me up.

And as I’m climbing I’m hearing various sounds, not the voices that I’ve or animal sounds that I’ve heard before on this animated energy pole that has taken me up, but almost like wind noises.

It’s as if I’m being introduced to the sounds of the galaxy.

And I’m getting a message that has become very important to me recently of don’t rush.

Don’t rush yourself.

Don’t push yourself.

Listen to the entire Schapera Show here.

And I know where I am in the room and that I’ve been doing this journey, and the journey is over, and I thank the Spirits.

Thank you.

Website: Crystal Healing Techniques